Bring Back Biden

“Miss me yet, America?” Back in the day, he fumbled through speeches like a drunk uncle at Thanksgiving, but the economy? Oh, it was humming—stocks doing the moonwalk, jobs popping up like daisies, and that $1.9 trillion stimulus hitting our wallets like a golden shower from Uncle Sam. Now? We’re stuck on this bucking bronco of a market, praying for a soft landing while inflation kicks us in the teeth. Bring back Sleepy Joe, I say—sure, he might trip over his own shoelaces, but at least the NASDAQ and Crypto wasn’t crying itself to sleep every night. “C’mon, man,” he’d say, “don’t you miss my beautiful, predictable chaos?” Yes, Joe, we kinda do!